Work

I am now working two jobs and I am heading back into the world of adulthood again. I love it (for now) I work at the pizzeria Wednesday, Friday, and Saturday nights. I work at Arctic Circle on all the others days except Sunday. And sometimes I work both. I am so excited to have a little bit of purpose in my life again. Even if it isn't the most glamorous job I love that I can pay my own bills again and have some of my dignity back. I know it wasn't that bad before and my parents didn't mind helping but after being self sufficient for almost 7 years it was very humbling to not be able to take care of my needs and for a bit not even being able to get myself out of bed or stand or sit on my own. I know the lord wants me to learn something from all this. I think one of the things I have learned is being grateful for what I have. 6 months ago if I would have been put in the jobs I have now I would be very unhappy and probably whine about it. Now I remember that any job is great. I need to be happy with what I have and who I have. I'm sure the Lord will have to remind me that  many times in my life (I just hope He doesn't take me take me so far down next time before I learn/remember) I know that I will learn more from all that has happened to me and I have learned more already. This life is a very long journey. We make mistakes learn from them and make more.

Me after working both jobs. Tired but happy!
(Sorry its blurry)

Valentines Day

With Valentines day coming up I have been asked by a few of my older friends why I am not dating any one or why am I not married. I had a conversation about this with my Mom the other day and I am sure she is tired of me whining about it but I am going to vent one more time. Just because I am almost 25 and still single that doesn't mean I am unhappy or not living my life to the fullest. In a previous job that I had I was treated differently then someone my same age because he was married and I wasn't. I know this was the case because before he was married we were treated the same. I volunteer with some youth during the year and once again married people my age are treated with more respect then the single people. I'm sure I have a biased opinion and some of you may think that  I am sensitive because I am single. Well I'm not. I have talked with different friends of mine who are in different parts of their lives and this is the conclusion I have come up with.

 In the Mormon culture we live in no one is ever good enough. I am not talking about in Gods eyes I am talking about all the "helpful" people telling every one how to live their lives. Once you graduate from high school for girls and once you get home from your mission for boys, the young people in the church are constantly grilled about getting married. Once you are married you are immediately asked when you are having a baby. A close friend of mine started getting asked this question less then a week after she was married. Once you have your first child the question is when are you having your second baby etc. until it people start talking about how you have too many kids. I repeat no one is ever good enough. This is just if you are a member. If you are a non-member in the Utah/Idaho areas you might as well move. I've always known they are treated different but every once in a while I hear stories that make me sad to be apart of this culture. Just today I heard about someone who was denied a job because they are not a member of our church. PLEASE just love every one and treat every one the same. It shouldn't matter what you look like, what you do, who you are, what your last name is, what you believe etc. Why can't we all just support others and not judge. Every one is doing the best they can. I have very little patience for busy bodies who spend all their time in others lives. I know this is a fault of mine. I also need to learn to love everyone unconditionally I have a hard time with this and I am going to work on it.

Sorry about the venting and I know this is kind of a negative post but its my blog and this is what I am feeling right now. On a happy note: Happy Valentines day everyone :) I hope you have a great day! and I promise a happy uplifting post next time.

Starting Again

I know its been almost a year. Honestly I had giving up on my blog. It was a few different things that stopped me but my Mom mentioned the other day she missed reading my posts and it is quiet  therapeutic for me to write some of my feelings out. So to get you all up to date on my life in the past year here is the readers digest version of my year.


I spent the past year working at Grandma Tobler's Bakery.  I was kind of managing the bakery. I had the manager title but the owner was there all the time so I really only managed when she was out of town. I enjoyed my job. I was doing what I loved every day. I got to create delicious foods every day. I had a hard time with some of the drama there but no matter where you work you are going to get that.
While living in St. George I made some great new friends and became reacquainted with some wonderful old friends. I miss it every day.
Starting in the end of August I started having some hip pain. I thought it was just a pulled muscle and thought it would go away soon. after a few weeks of it getting worse those around me convinced me to go get it checked out. (I really didn't want to go get it checked out I still thought it would go away on its own) then after a really long hard day at work I was in much more pain and went to a doctor. He said the pain was from my back even though it was hurting in my leg. He gave me some steroids and said it should feel better in two weeks. If not I should have an MRI. Not only did I not get better but I continued to get worse. I had the MRI two weeks latter on a Thursday (October 10th) My Mom and I decided I couldn't work like this any more and I couldn't live on my own with no job. I went into the bakery for my shift after the MRI, talked to my boss and didn't even finish my shift that day. My Mom, Older Brother Adam, and younger sister Noelle decided to come and help me pack up and bring me home. They arrived at my house around 1 AM Saturday morning. We (They. I mostly watched because I had a hard time moving let alone lift anything) and we headed back towards Idaho Saturday afternoon. It was the quickest move I have ever made. When we got back to Idaho I tried a few different things to fix my back. PT, shots, and rest. I ended up having back surgery a week before Thanksgiving. They fixed the herniated disk and I was on the mend. I was hoping for a quick recovery but because I was so bad before the surgery(not only was my hip in pain it moved down my calf and my foot would go numb all the time) so because I was so bad the PT said it could take up to a year before I am 100% and I will always have a weak back.
I now have a very part time job. I work at a local pizza place 3 days a week and only 12 hours a week. The first week was really hard for me. I didn't think I would be able to keep the job. But now after the 3rd week I am feeling more hopeful about it and I am looking for a full time job so I can move out on my own again and get back to normal life. I love my family and I am so very grateful for them and wouldn't change moving home for the last for anything. But I am ready to move to the next step.


Now that you are all caught up with my life I am going to try and write on here more again.




I am so excited for this upcoming year. New opportunities, new places, the sky is the limit. Once I find a job and catch up on the past few months of being unemployed I can go anywhere and do anything. Part of me wants to do a big move and a big change and move somewhere far away. Maybe back East. But the realistic part of me will probably move back to Logan or Salt Lake or something like that. I've had lots of ideas for my life but I haven't made any decisions on what I will or want to do. Some of my ideas are going to school and getting my business degree so I know what I'm doing when I open my own bakery, working hard at a job and living very frugally so I can go to that cake school in Chicago, maybe changing my career plans altogether and just bake at home for fun. Like I said the sky is the limit and I can do anything I want. Its just so hard to make a decision. I just need to keep thinking and weighing all the options.