6 Months of Pain

It has been 6 months since my pain in my back started. That is 6 months of constant nagging pain 100% of the time. True it is not as bad as it was before I had surgery. I can also manage the pain with pills but it is ALWAYS in the background. Physically this has been the hardest thing I've gone through. I know a lot of others have endured a lot worse and handle it much better then I have. But the truth is I'm tired. I am so sick of this trial and I want it to go away. I don't know why I have had to go through this. My mom has come up with a bunch of theories. I know that the Lord gives us things like this for our good. To challenge us and make us grow and become closer to Him. I don't know if I feel closer to Him or just mad at Him. It depends on the day.

On a happier note I'm so grateful for my family! They have been so helpful during all of this. My parents have sacrificed time and money to move me down here and paid for all my hospital bills. My older brother, Adam took a weekend away from his family to help me move home, he also lets me chill at his house and play with his kids when ever I am bored. His wife Aurora lets me vent to her about the same crap all the time. She probably thinks I am the biggest whiner ever but it sure feels good to get stuff off my chest. She never judges me or talks down on me when we talk. Both my younger sisters, Amanda and Noelle have given up their rooms so I could have my own space. Even though I don't always say it I am very grateful to all of them and love them. I know I am a pain to live with right now and I'm sure by the time I move out my whole family will a long break from me. (Maybe I'll move to New York or Boston or someplace really far away for a few months or so)

Right before going into surgery