Spring has Sprung

I know its been a few weeks since I've posted anything sorry. Things have been coming together for me lately. I am still working part time and it is nice to have a little money to do what I want and to take care of my needs. It makes me feel good. I have been on a few dates with a few different guys. Its nice to be out in the world again I miss having friends and going out to do things on a whim. Because my closest friend is 45 min away it takes some planning to get out there. I have been on two dates with the same guy and I really like him. I hope something comes out of it. He is super sweet and we talk all the time. It makes me feel special because he has initiated most of the conversations. I love it. I would be ok if we started dating. So yeah things are looking up. But nothing in this life can be easy... just when I feel I'm on the uphill climb I started feeling more and more pain again. I finally called my doctor to have my back checked out again. I had an MRI this past Saturday and I got the results yesterday (Tuesday) I have so much scar tissue that it is hitting my nerve in the same place the disk was hitting. It feels all the same to me I can't tell the difference of what's hurting me. After talking with my doctor and my Mom we all feel the best thing to do to fix my back is to have a second surgery. They will remove all the scar tissue and remove part of the bone so if scar tissue comes back again I will have more room in there so it shouldn't hit my nerve again. This surgery has 97% chance of success (but so did the last one. I just keep telling myself what are the chances of me being in the 3% two times in a row? It should be fine but cross your fingers and pray real hard) although I am not looking forward to having another surgery that sounds awful!! I don't respond well to medicine and they always have a hard time keeping my pain managed. but I am willing to take one day of hell and a few weeks of recovery for a lifetime of being healthy. I am trying to be positive about the whole thing. I won't lie I have cried a few times when I think about losing my freedom again. I know I don't have a ton of friends in the area but I do like to hang out with them when I can and I like to go on dates and be free. I do spend a lot of time at home now so a ton won't change but I won't have the option anymore. I like having options. I'm hoping to have a fast recovery because 4 weeks after the surgery is camp. (I am a counselor at a camp my Mom and older brother run. Its really fun. I look forward to it every year and can't wait to see all my girls again)